Tonight is the first time that Dover has had any kind of precipitation in a long time. We've had a Hurricane scare, and a few heat lightning storms (is there such a thing as heat lightning? I've heard "yes" and "no." answer appreciated) but no rain.


Tonight, God was determined to shake things up a little bit. On my way home from a youth group meeting, I was able to witness - safely of course - some cool lightning strikes while I was driving home. It was one of those nights where riding with the windows down was not only refreshing, but almost necessary….like I needed to feel the cool fall air rush into my car.

I stopped and parked just outside of the Laundromat near my house to check something online. The Laundromat has free wireless, and my cozy little apartment is void of anything internet. While I was sitting there, in my car, windows rolled down, I was able to experience thunder, lightning, wind….and RAIN. It was phenomenal.

I remember my dog, Buddy, being terrified of Thunderstorms when he was a young dog. His tail would wide between his legs and he would slink around, between crashes of thunder. Sometimes, storms are no joke. Tonight was pretty mild, but had the wind kicked up a little bit and the rain come down a touch harder, it could have been pretty nasty.

I've been listening to a guy named Judah Smith (www.thecity.org) ever since I returned from a conference in South Carolina where this guy spoke. I've looked up some of his sermons recently. In one, he speaks on Mark, Chapter 4 where Jesus just got done teaching to a buttload of people….and was probably tired and needed some sleep. He and his disciples popped in a boat and Jesus, like any normal dude after he's done working, passes out on the trip.

A raging storm - I'm imagining nasty winds and high seas...like that movie "White Squall" from 1980-soemthing. The disciples are a lot like Buddy, tweaking out, tails between their legs. They didn't know what to do, so they woke up Jesus. But when they woke him, they didn't just straight up ask him for help. They didn't beg him to work His "Jesus Magic" and quell the mighty sea that they were so struggling with. "They said to him, 'teacher, do you not care that we are parishing?"

At a quick glance, I guess it seems kind of weird, doesn't it? If your life was flashing before your eyes, don't you think you'd cry out for help first and then ask stupid questions like "God, do you really care?" But here, the disciples waste no time being idiots. Kind of sounds like me, sometimes. I never understand the argument people make when they say that the Bible isn't relatable. Psh…. You say it isn't relatable? I think the disciples and I are related. Check out all the stupid stuff I do and say on a regular basis. Then check out how much stupid stuff they did on a regular basis.

Pretty sure those figures are in the same ballpark.

I know the storm thing is cliché, but lets take this from another angle.

Storms come at different times….in different manors, and when we least expect it. Sometimes, I feel like Christians are holding out for the storms. They brace themselves for the storms. They believe that they need storms in their lives to justify themselves as Christians because it's only through storms that they can learn things, and work through things. What a croc. I don't think that anywhere in the Bible, God says, "I'm going to send you storms so that you can put it all together."

God is all about the good, not the bad. I don't think he's up there on His throne picking out different scenario cards...mixing and matching people and problems. That doesn't sound like a God of Love to me. God works for the good of all things.

BUT, storms do happen. It's no secret. It's no surprise, either. I think those disciples are actually a good representation of Christians today. Our prayers that should go something like, "God help!" turn into, "God, do you really care?" or "God, why is this happening?"

-"God, why is my relationship with my girlfriend or spouse going down the tubes? Are you here with us? Do you care about us?

-"God, why does my congregation keep dwindling down and down? Don't you care?"


-"God, why is my friend sick? Don't you know that I need him? Don't you care?"

Reality check. We are more like the disciples than we care to admit. Sometimes, our faith gets swept away by the wind. The wind whispers to us that we aren't enough. Or that we have no faith, or that we've failed….or that we're not loved, respected, or wanted.

When our faith leaves, we forget that Our Savior talks to the wind. He talks to the sea. He talks to the storm. He has the ultimate trump card. More importantly, He is always in the boat.

Maybe the struggle here is about faith and about listening to the call Jesus has on your heart. But maybe deeper still is the struggle for us to just stay in the friggen boat. When the waves crash over the side of your vessel and the wind pounds you to the deck, sometimes the boat seems like a sucky place to ride out the storm. There's that feeling that abandoning ship is the safest thing to do. If you jump out, you can swim back to shore and start over.

What we don't realize is that if we keep jumping out of the boat and swimming back to shore, we will always swim back to where we came from. We never get to where we want to go. Where we need to go. Where we are supposed to go.

Does that take a friend sometimes? Sure. We always need people to hang out in that boat with us. When we have one foot hanging over the side and one foot in, we can always use someone to convince us to hang on. Stay in. Just keep holding on.

Until we understand who we have in the boat with us, we'll always have one foot out over the edge. Even when we don't have the courage or the wisdom to stop letting the wind wisp our faith away, He calls out to it and tells it to stop blowing, so that the waves stop rolling. The weather and our vision becomes more clear. Then, we can see who stands beside us.


I'm glad it stormed tonight.

He's back!

After a deep slumber in the world of blogging, I have returned!

I’m currently at the office, and everyone has left…. It’s peaceful. I’d much rather do this in the comfort of my own apartment… but internet is a luxury that is unavailable right now for a multitude of reasons – so I confine myself to my desk and my dinosaur computer…and type away my thoughts. J I promise, I am grateful.

Thought #1: Student loans suck. It will be even worse when I see my paychecks being sucked into a black hole…

Thought #2: Happy Birthday, Erin! 23 years old on June 23rd! how cool!

#3) I see the Eastern Shore heat as both a plus and a minus. On one hand, when I go to the beach, it’s actually hot enough for “a beach day.” However, the heat also makes getting into the car a sweaty mess when its been sitting there for 5 hours. Yuck!

#4) “If the size of your dreams isn’t intimidating, then you’re probably insulting God.”

-Steven Furtick (via Shane Hinderliter….thanks Shane)

#5) “what you do in the dark will always come to the light

-Coach Ice Rob Skaracich

#6) Being in college was great…. I shouldn’t have taken that for granted. Didn’t we all though?

#7) I’m glad, however, that I’m working at a job where I can see God’s handiwork on a day to day basis…. It’s both inspiring and encouraging.

#8) I get tomorrow off! Beach Day and Ultimate Frisbee!!!!

#9) I can totally see myself in a rodeo within the next 10 years.

#10) At the time, watching the TV show, “Renegade” with my dad and brother was awesome. So many cool lines and fight scenes…. However, I just bought the 1st season at walmart for 5 bucks (no cable either….lol) and I have now figured out why Lorenzo Lamas flopped as an actor. HE IS TERRIBLE. Wow….

More later.

I'm Back!

So after a long hiatus (had no clue how to spell that word until I looked it up), I'm back. I've been wanting to sit down for a while not, but haven't really had a chance to sit down and gether any kind of organized thought.

Before I start, two new albums that have just came out that I'm pretty high on. First, a newer band called Deluge. I dont know a lot about the, but thy put together a nasty worship album. Second, Mercyme just came out with their newest album, "The Generous Mr. Lovewell." they have one or two worship songs on there that are pretty good, as well.

Things are seeming to move quickly. A conversation with Mom today had me thinking about the pace of my life right now. I'm finishing up some finals here at school, then I have a few days left to pack up everything, headhome for a weekend, then basically start working. Things are moving a thousand miles an hour. Sometimes, I just want to throw my hands up and say, "Can we just slow everything down here, God, and let me enjoy the moment???"

I read a verse a few weeks ago that has stuck with me these last few weeks. Maybe for some of you about to make a big change, this may speak to you (out of the 4 people who read this, someone is bound to relate, right?).

In Genesis 46, Jacob is about to move his family from his home to Egypt because of the famine that has struck the land. Jacob is picking up from where he has laid his roots; moving his family fromthe place they have lived their whole lives.

sound familiar?

God came to Jacob in a dream and told him not to worry. Just to chill and relax. Enjoy the moment because He had gone before Jacob. He prepared the way for Jacob and his family. He also promised that he would be there every step of the way, and also bring him back.

Maybe the best part of the story is that which is untold. Even if God hadn't revealed that He was protecting and guiding Jacob and his family, He still would have been there. He's a pretty dependable guy, God is.

As a lot of us are getting ready for a change of scenery, we can be sure that God is going before us, preparing the way.

Take that to the bank.

Intentionality

If you aren't intentional about something, you'll unintentionally do nothing.

If you aren't intentional about a relationship with the Lord, then you will unintentionally have nothing.

Slow and Steady....

Occasionally...and I mean occasionally, a college course provides with you with a textbook that you both actually read and actually like. The combonation of the two are like finding your lost contact at football practice (a situation i'm glad i'll never have to repeat).

I'm taking a two-credit class called, "Sports and Exercise Psychology" and our professor assigned the book "Golf's Sacred Journey: Seven Days At the Links of Utopia" as a required text for our class. At first, the title of that books screams, "WASTE OF TIME," but knowing that this is a class that I can get an "A" in, of which there aren't many, I realized that I needed to read the book. It's not a big book, by any means...maybe 150 or so pages...and only costs me about 5 bucks on Amazon, so it wasn't a huge deal to buy it or read it.

The book needs to be read by next week, so I thought I'd just pound it out this weekend, starting today.

Much like the main character in the book, what I got was not what I expected.

The Narrorator/main character of the book is a professional golfer, living and golfing in West Texas, looking to break onto the PGA tour, but struggles with issues both on and off the greens that keep him from reaching his fullest potential. On his way home from a blown lead at a PGA qualifying touranement - follwed by a meltdown - he stops at a tiny village called Utopia, where he meets Johhny, an older cattle rancher who owns and manages a shabby old driving range and 9-hole course. Johnny explains that he too was a professional golfer one-upon-a-time and that after a week, he would have our character's game in top shape.

Each chapter explains the events of each day. There is one lesson a day, and the lessons almost always involve something other than a golf club. Johnny teaches life, freedom, balance, tradition, truth, creativity, conviction, humility, and the list goes on and on.

One of the days began with a drive in Johnny's old Ford pickup truck on a dusty one lane West Texas road. The student noticed the pace at which Johnny was driving and thought about it for a moment.
"The ranch was quite large, about 1000 acres, and the roads were too bumpy to be in a hurry. Maybe the pace of life is relative to the roads we drive on. Whereas good roads may quicken our step to our next destination, Ghandi once said, 'There is more to life than increasing its speed.' Out here, cowboys moved to the pace life gave them."

Interesting? I thought so. Maybe its because I've been out West, traveling in an old Ford (well, it was a GMC, but for parallelism, we'll stick with FORD) pickup on a dusty, bumpy, one lane country road...and I know the importance of going slow. If you drive too fast, you're either liable to break down or get tossed off the road.

In addition, think about all the cool things we pass when we drive fast. I love the country. I love the sights and sounds, the smells and the feel, and I would hate to think about all the things I've missed because I was driving too fast.

Maybe our problem lies with "Lead Foot Syndrome." Maybe we are so concerned about getting to where we think we need to be... and not thinking that maybe we are already there.

Ironic as I wrap this up that my last post talks about anxiousness about the future. Sometimes, I really think I am impossible. Thank you God for answers to prayers.

Horizons

There's a spirit of a storm in my soul
A restlessness that I can seem to tame

Thunder and lightning follow everywhere I go

There's a spirit of a storm in my soul

There's a hurricane that's raging through my blood

And I can't find a way to calm the sea

Maybe I'll find someday the waters aren't so rushed

But right now they've got the best of me

And oh, it's been a long long time

Since I've had real peace of mind

So I'm just going to sit right here

In this old chair till this storm rolls by

Oh maybe it's just the way I am

Maybe I won't ever change

So I'm just going to sit right here

In this old chair and just soak up the rain

There's a spirit of a storm in my soul

Every time I think it's gone away

Dark clouds gather, that old wind begins to blow

The sun's going to shine someday, I hope

There's a spirit of a storm in my soul

Spirit of a Storm - Kenny Chesney

Disclaimer: I am of the firm believe that there is a Kenny Chesney song for every emotion in life. I'm not trying to brag, but I'm pretty sure I have every song Kenny has ever put out...so it's pretty much a fact. :)

This one has been building up in me for a while.....

I love pictures of landscapes. I have hundreds of pictures of them on a slideshow saved on my computer, and every once-in-a-while, I'll turn off the lights and just watch, let my mind wander, and let my imagination take me to those distant lands that are right infront of me, captured on my little 15" monitor.

All of those pictures are beautiful in their own right. Some are brilliant sunsets, some are breathtaking sunrises....some are dry, desert landscapes, some are lazy,winding rivers. All of these pictures, however, have something in common. There is always a horizon, a far off place where we aren't exactly sure what is there, but we are captivated by what is just over the mountain range, or on the other side of the sea.

Why is it that I have this restlessness about me? Kenny says it in a perfect way, "There's a spirit of a storm in my soul." Why am I not satisfied with where my feet are planted? Recently, I've felt anxious.... discontent. Not ungrateful, mind you, just a little tug that reminds me to keep walking. I'm not really sure of the direction, but just to put one foot in front of the other and walk towards that horizon. I'm not sure exactly what's there, or what I'll be doing... but the sun is going to shine someday, I hope.

Up until now, I've been so blessed with my parents, my church, my experiences here at school... but I feel like I'm handcuffed to my life right now. (Does that even make sense?) I feel like a change is in order, and that change is just over that horizon I see in all of those pictures I look at.

It's a risky business, daydreaming, especially in my case. Your mind is a powerful thing, and can take you to wonderful places, even if only for a few minutes (except during class....ahem). But risky is an "ok" thing for me right now. Take some risks. Go and see what's on the other side. Don't be comfortable. Maybe it's time to ride the waves....

Tying the Knot

Two of my good friends got hitched this past weekend. I have a feeling that this is going to be a trend that continues for a while. Jay and Liss are awesome people, and I'm so happy that they have found joy in both eachother, and in the God who brought them together. Their relationship truely reflects God's love for us.

The pastor performing the service said that "What you are is God's gift to eachother, and what you become is you're gift to God." I thought that was pretty powerful. Marriage is both a blessing and a responsibility. I'm sure that Jay and Liss will continue to grow in eachother as well as in the Lord.

This weekend also humbled me in my knowledge of love songs. I realized that I'm not as well versed as I thought.... haha.

Weddings are a wonderful way to celebrate the union between two people and two families while thanking and praising the Lord for the ways that he has been working in all of the lives involved. It means a little more, too, when you are close to those who you are celebrating.

Weddings also leave you with some questions....

"Where will they end up?"
"How did they plan all of this?"
"Who can I dance with at the reception?"
and a frequently pondered question...... "Did she just see me make a complete fool of myself doing the electric slide?" (that's probably a yes)

And the more serious ones....
"Am I going to cry at MY wedding?" (that's probably a yes)
"What's my wedding and reception going to look like?"
"Out of the 38 people I know that would do a good job, who am I going to get to perform the ceremony?"
and most of all......


"When is it my turn....?"

I like blogging.

La Paz de Jesus es permanente.....


So I went to Spanish Worship last night. I had asked a handful of people if they wanted to go, because naturally I didn't want to go by myself....but the Lord has a sense of humor.... and didn't let me off the hook just because I had no one to go with.


I found myself in the basement Chapel of Towers Presbyterian Church with 5 other guys and a Latino couple singing contemporary worship songs in Spanish, praying, and reading verses out of the Nuevo Testamento....


San Juan 14:23-31

John 14:23-31

"Jesus replied, 'If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him. He who does not love me will not obey my teaching. These words you hear are not my own; they belong to the Father who sent me.


All this I have spoken while still with you. But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.


You heard me say, 'I am going away and I am coming back to you.' If you loved me, you would be glad that I am going to the Father, for the Father is greater than I. I have told you now before it happens, so that when it does happen you will believe me. I will not speak with you much longer, for the prince of this world is coming. He has no hold on me, but the world must learn that I love the Father and that I do exactly what my Father jas commanded me. Come now; let us leave."



Now, I had only a few years of Hgh School Spanish, and I have taken basic language proficiency classes in college, so my Spanish is "ok" at best. I understood about every third or fourth word that was spoken, but the power of those words transcended language barriers. God has a way of speaking even when we can't exactly understand it.

Language is doesn't always have to be with words. I think the accepted statistic is that 70 or 80% of communication is through body language (maybe even more?). When we worship in a setting different than our own comfortable North American style, we can't rely on words to sustain us. When our words are taken away from us, we begin to see the ways God works in us that don't require us opening our mouth.

Interesting? I think so. It reminds me of the Tower of Babel in Genesis and how people didn't have one language to communicate anymore. God made it so that there were many languages. How did people even get things done? They had to rely on the Lord. They had to express their love and their faith through their actions.

"If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching."

Even though I didn't understand a lot of what the Latino gentleman was saying, I could tell that he was obedient. I could tell that la Santa Biblia was much more than words on a page to him. I could feel the meaning and power in every word that rolled off of his tongue, even if I could only take a few guesses at what they meant. I could feel the Love of Christ when he hugged me...a complete stranger, or when he encouraged me as I stumbled through verses in John in Spanish.

It was pretty sweet. He seemed like a pretty cool guy.

And even in the midst of a lot of confusion last night, I had a peace. A peace that even though my Spanish was pretty broken, that God would fill the cracks. That even if I didn't understand, God would send His grace. The peace of Jesus Christ is permanent.

Of course I talk about words and language in a Blog.... where all I have is words.

God, you are pretty funny sometimes. :)

-Aaron

Light Heavy Reading

Despite popular opinion, I actually like to read...just not my school books. Whoops. I've been on a read reading kick lately, and have read some pretty awsome literature.

"Under the Overpass" by Mike Yankoski - a story of 2 college aged kids who decided that they would practice what they preached and give everything up for 5 months to be homeless on the American streets. I read it in about 3 days, and have bought the 30 day devo book that is based off of their story. good stuff.

I just started reading "The Irresistable Revolution," by Shane Claiborne - Mrs. O., if you see this, thanks for the reccomendation. It's another autobiography taking us through Shane's journey while he promotes and lives the life of an "everyday radical" as he puts it. I'm on Chapter 3 right now, and he just wrapped up his internship at a mega-church in Chicago following his brief stint in India working with Mother Theresa.

For those of you with "Big Word Syndrome," (The inability to understand big words, especially in a theological context...therefor you have to go over the sentence about 5 or 6 times to try to think up some kind of definition that fits the "contex clues" you learned how to use in 4th or 5th grade....Holla Miss Mancinelli!) these two books are pretty easy reads, yet they challenge you in big ways. I thank and praise God that he gave us educated authors who know how to write in a readable way.

Anyway, enough marketing.

I was reading something in Shane's book that I want to share. To give some background, he's introducing the audience to this idea of being an every day radical and telling us how he came to be one. He explains his upbringing and his transformation...

Shane writes, 'But then you start to think there must be more to Christianity, more than just laying your life and sins at the foot of the cross. I came to realize that preachers were telling me to lay my life at the foot of the cross and weren't giving me anything to pick up. A lot of us were hearing "don't smoke, don't drink, don't sleep around" and naturally started asking, "Okay, well, that was pretty much my life, so what do I do now?" Where were the do's? And nobody seemed to have much to offer us. Handing out tracts at the mall just didn't seem liek the fullness of Christian discipleship, not to mention it wasn't as fun as making out at the movies.'

I hope that hit you like a brick like it did me.

I feel like, although our intentions are mostly good, a lot of Christians today find themselves with their finger making that terrible wagging motion back and forth when face-to-face with someone wth a lifestyle different than their own. We find ourselves telling those surrounding us that in order to be a Christian, "you can't do this" and "you can't do that", rather than offering something to pick up. So often, we throw theology and doctrine in the unbeliever's face, rather than throwing our arms around them.

How great is it when that lost sheep is found? Or the prodigal son returns? When that happens, we need to give them something to grab ahold of, rather than take things away. That's my prayer for me, anyway.

Eat your vegetables,
AT

The Title

...Alright, so I caved in. It's time to start organizing my thoughts and writing them down; not so much so everyone can read them (I promise, I'm not that good of a writer... keep your expectations low), but so that I don't forget them.

I thought this title was pretty appropriate, "Out of My Hands," especially for a guy who likes to be in control. My prayer is that every time I write in here, I'll be reminded of who is in control, and learn to be more faithful when it comes to handing the reigns over to God. Who knows. Maybe i'll write a book about it. Doubtful... :)


To Him be the glory.
AT